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Whitney from Ashburn Age: 32. I can be bold and at the same time gentle, insanely passionate and as modest as possible.

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Your hand is one thing in a world of many things. It has variable speeds as well, so you can go from lazy Quaalude mumble-munch to Furious 7 Vin Diesel power gulp. Link Existing Cracked Account. I don't want to be the conductor on this train to penile trichinosis. I'm just sharing information. I don't have a degree in anthropology or dick tuggery, but I am an amateur in both. Maybe your beanbag chair sprung a leak and has an appropriately-sized orifice barfing beans in your room.

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I don't want to be the conductor on this train to penile trichinosis. I'm just sharing information. It is therefore my nonprofessional belief that the origin of masturbation is connected to the right wrist. This is a lot like regular masturbation, only the smell is much more off-putting. You're cleaning your pipes. Our ancestors used to put a stick covered in termites in their proto-dicks to get off. Add me to the weekly newsletter. The major downside to the Fleshlight is that it's a lot like manual labor.

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When you're drunk at 2 a. Have you smelled deli ham lately. Maybe one day, our monkey ancestor was sitting in his tree, lounging under a palm frond, enjoying some delicious papaya, when some of it slipped and landed on his little monkey dinky. As it happens, I have tried this old chestnut myself once or twice, but for science, I did it again. The Autoblow 2 is the most advanced form of wanking mankind has to offer.

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Jennifer from Ashburn Age: 33. Looking for a man for regular carnal pleasures and pleasant pastime. The more often, the better.
Description: Letsgasm Be mindful of which pudding you eat, however. The downside to the Autoblow, depending on how you feel about noise, is that it sounds like you're being blown by the factory from the end The Terminator. Have our advances in texturized rubbers improved our alone time. Masturbating with your hand affords you that flesh-to-flesh connection. For this particular solo mission to Dribblesville, you need to take a slice of deli ham -- and in this case, you don't necessarily want it super thin -- and maybe pop it in the microwave for 10 seconds. Has Started Doing On Its Own Artificial intelligence has been the bogeyman of science fiction since before it even existed for real. When you're drunk at 2 a. Nowadays, we have robots that will give us space-age handies with a kung fu grip and lube designed by NASA, I assume.
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